To help create better acceptance and understanding of oneself and others, the book includes the Keirsey Temperament Sorter, a short questionnaire to help readers determine their personality type. The four-letter result will look familiar to anyone who has taken the Myers-Briggs.
In Please Understand Me: Character and Temperament Types, authors David Keirsey and Marilyn Bates discuss the differences people display in their thinking, beliefs, desires, and emotions. However, rather than simply recognizing and accepting these differences in others, we tend to pathologize them: “Seeing others around us differing from us, we conclude that these differences in individual behavior are temporary manifestations of madness, badness, stupidity, or sickness.” Having viewed others this way and experienced this kind of treatment myself, I can relate to the authors’ claim that, “our attempts to change spouse, offspring, or others can result in change, but the result is a scar and not a transformation.”
To help create better acceptance and understanding of oneself and others, the book includes the Keirsey Temperament Sorter, a short questionnaire to help readers determine their personality type. The four-letter result will look familiar to anyone who has taken the Myers-Briggs.
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In The Highly Sensitive Person, psychologist Elaine Aron, PhD describes what it’s like to be an HSP. Comprising 15-20% of the population, people with this trait have nervous systems that are more sensitive to stimulation than average. According to Aron, this increased sensitivity can mean “that you are more easily overwhelmed when you have been in a highly stimulating environment for too long, bombarded by sights and sounds until you are exhausted in a nervous-system sort of way.” Many people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) may also relate to the description above. Individuals with BPD are often very sensitive to environmental factors and other forms of stimulation (or lack thereof). For both HSPs and people diagnosed with BPD, there is often an optimal range of stimulation that is very narrow. In fact, there are many parallels between BPD and being an HSP, and Dr. Aron’s book provides information that can be helpful to both groups. The red double doors swing open and the nurses patiently wait for me to say goodbye to my mother. Tears stream down both our faces as I stand up from the wheelchair and hug her tightly. “Mom, I’m scared.” I say, as my voice cracks. “You’ll be okay,” she whispers, her hands clasped around mine. “You’ll be okay.” Just like that she let go and I’m wheeled into the psychiatric unit. The doors make a loud buzzing noise as they clamp shut. I hear them lock behind me simultaneously as a lump of irrational abandonment settles in my stomach. I find myself immediately on the verge of throwing up and I feel my whole body shivering. Why do hospitals always have to be so damn cold? Recently I attended an ecstatic dance class encouraging embodied awareness. I walked into the class feeling upset after a difficult day at work, but during the class I became present rather than obsessing over things that bothered me. It was a relief to let go, follow the music, and do whatever felt good. It was safe to be authentic. Within the first half hour of the class, I was feeling much better. My experience of improved mindfulness is common among those who participate in embodied expressive arts practices and I was interested to learn that Real Caring Integrative Therapy has programs in place that combine therapeutic expressive arts with evidence based therapies like Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), commonly used to treat trauma and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Mindfulness can be enhanced through art therapy and embodied practices. “In the DBT group we’re really working a lot with embodied mindfulness,” Shannon Simonelli, PhD, ATR, said. “We’re filling out the experience of mindfulness and connection with “wise mind” to include somatic perspective and somatic orientation. We’re teaching people how to check in with and language their observations from a body-based perspective.” In my first blog on the life and times of the Highly-Sensitive Person (HSP) I discussed the unique challenges facing those who fall on the extra-sensitive side of the sensitivity spectrum. If you are an HSP it may be difficult to get a handle on the challenges of your sensitivity. You must learn to soothe and protect your nervous system. Important skills to develop include: 1 - Setting emotional boundaries: You can easily pick up on the feelings of others and can become confused about whether your feelings are your own. Think of yourself as a psychic sponge, soaking up the mental and emotional energy of those around you. Use your creative ability to visualize a protective shield around you that can filter out some of the stimulus. 2 - Saying no: This is tough for you because you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Yet, when you take on more than you can handle you can build resentment that often leads to pulling away from others, so that you find yourself bouncing from one extreme to another. While saying no may be awkward in the short term, it can help save your relationships in the long term. How many of you have heard the comment “oh...you’re just too sensitive”? Maybe you feel hurt when people say that and think there is something wrong with you. According to Elaine Aron, Ph.D in The Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), approximately 20 percent of the population has a highly sensitive nervous system. For these individuals (myself included), it's as if they wear their nerves on the outside of their skin. In the first part of this series on sensitivity I will discuss those who find themselves on the highly sensitive side of the HSP spectrum. If you’re an HSP, you can experience external and internal stimulation rather quickly and with more intensity and duration. It’s as though your nervous system is an antenna running through your mind and body—always on and picking up signals from everything around you. As an HSP, you can become overstimulated and this “noise” or “static” can result in a variety of mental and physical complaints that may be difficult to diagnose. Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), popularized through films like Rachel Getting Married (2008) and Welcome to Me (2014), is a diagnosis many patient's fear because of the overwhelming stigma associated with it. A telltale sign of BPD is a person's erratic and unstable relationships, caused by outsized reactivity when feeling threatened and/or rejected. |
Featured WritersKrista Clement is the Executive Editor for the Real Caring blog. For questions contact [email protected]
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